Is the Universe Ready for a Sci-Fi Moby Dick?

From <a href=Moby-Dick, by Herman Melville" />
From Moby-Dick, by Herman Melville

In space, no one can hear you call me Ishmael. Lynne Ramsey, director of the upcoming "We Need to Talk About Kevin," has revealed that she's attempting a sci-fi version of Moby Dick. "We're taking the premise into the galaxy. So we're creating a whole new world, and a new alien," she said on a BBC radio program.  This bodes well for a Queequeg-type character that's not based on fanciful misconceptions about Polynesian islanders!

Meanwhile on the other end of the "Wait, did I hear that right?" news spectrum, a director has been named for a trilogy based on Stephen King's The Stand, and it is Ben Affleck. And yes, Affleck has proved himself an able director ("Gone Baby Gone" and "The Town" were well received) but can we trust him with such an important cultural relic? *sigh* I guess our baby has to grow up sometime.

Also, surprise! Joss Whedon's secretly been working on a Shakespeare adaptation, a quirky modern version of Much Ado About Nothing set in Santa Monica. When does this guy sleep? By the time you finish reading this post, he and James Franco will probably have written and directed a movie about it.

Poet Emily Dickinson doesn't currently happen to be directing anything -- she died in 1886. Nevertheless, her recently unearthed recipe for coconut cake has got armies of literary cooks taking direction from her. It's no surprise that NPR blogger Nelly Lambert's attempt to sell readers on a gluten/dairy-free approximation fell flat; sometimes you just want to eat a plain, old-fashioned piece of cake and pretend that all your friends have died of tuberculosis. Is that so hard to understand?