According to the BBC, the story of Charles Dickens' first trip to America in 1842 is an unfortunate (if not terribly surprising) one. The rock star treatment he received from an adoring public soon became awkward, especially as more people tried to make money off of his fame (Dickens' barber was even caught selling locks of his hair), and upon visiting Washington, D.C., the author deemed it a cesspool of "despicable trickery at elections; underhanded tamperings with public officers; and cowardly attacks upon opponents, with scurrilous newspapers for shields, and hired pens for daggers." If only he could see us now!
Next on the list of Americans' high crimes: We're getting ready to debut a new modern-day Sherlock Holmes television show ... that's set in New York. The latest news is that "Elementary" will star Johnny Lee Miller, which at least brings a modicum of English cred to the project.
While we're on the subject of ideas we're afraid to get too excited about, Mattel has announced that they're finally releasing a Hover Board, just like the one in "Back to the Future II." The current disclaimer is that actual hover technology won't exist until 2015, but in the meantime this replica "includes multiple whooshing sounds and will glide over most surfaces." Whatever that means.
If you're feeling a little lazy and worthless lately, Cracked reminds us about six pop culture mysteries that were solved by fans, such as the connection between IBM and the evil computer HAL in Kubrick's "2001." So cheer up: There are mysteries out there still waiting for you to solve them ... while remaining totally sedentary.