Fifty Shades of Classics: New Series Spices up Austen and Bronte Novels with Racy Sex Scenes

Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen/Images via
Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen/Images via

Somewhere between the successes of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and the twisted fanfic of Fifty Shades of Grey,  someone got a wicked idea: to inject explicit sex scenes into classic literature. The collection, called Clandestine Classics, will fill in all "missing" scenes that Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, and Arthur Conan Doyle never got around to writing -- including a sexual relationship between Holmes and Watson, which -- you never know -- really could end up in one of those Guy Ritchie movies one of these days.

It's a treat to see this hand-drawn map of the fictional township of Arkham, MA, where most of H. P. Lovecraft's stories take place (found via MetaFilter). I wonder if this means revisions for the Arkham Horror game board?

Christopher Nolan (who, let's face it, is the man of the hour -- if not the entire month) has commented on why he avoided 3-D for "The Dark Knight Rises": "I never meet anybody who actually likes the format, and it’s always a source of great concern to me when you’re charging a higher price for something that nobody seems to really say they have any great love for." At a time when every reasonably blockbuster-ish movie is having 3-D effects spackled on as an afterthought to wring extra dollars from the audience, this is actually a pretty radical statement ... But when your movie is accepted as the biggest hit of the summer before it's even released, you can risk it.

Michael Chabon's written a lovely piece for The New York Review of Books called "What to make of Finnegan's Wake?" See? It's okay to admit to being confounded by James Joyce. (In Chabon's case, it took him twenty-five years simply to work up the energy to read the thing.)